I used to count myself a superwoman. I did everything for my family - my husband, my daughter, my in-laws who lived separately and myself of course. I also held a full time job. Incidentally, my boss once asked me "how I did it?". He mentioned that his wife ran his household and raised the kids and further that it was no easy task. I said "I just do". My daughter was still quite young, so I managed to stay on top of things for a while. Only one little one to clean up after. My day would begin early and end late.
Now I have another child and chores fall by the way side. There is not enough time in the day or night and I usually have to leave in the middle of a project to tend to one or the other. For someone who is a perfectionist, it was difficult to let things be. My memory is starting to fail now as I have one more person to remember things for. The little bit of sleep I used to live on is no longer enough. That me slowly packed her bags and flew out the window.
I woke up one day and just realized, I just cannot do it all and if something doesn't get done, like making the bed or putting away the laundry, it's okay. I am only one person and I am where I am suppose to be. My life is what it is and whether or not the silver was polished this month is irrelevant as life goes on. The globe keeps on spinning so to speak. It doesn't make me a procrastinator nor does it make me a bad person. I hope. I couldn't even convince myself. I vented to my hubby that things were just not getting done and I was up to here and there. He told me to stop worrying about nonsensical things. I got annoyed.
One day, while chatting with some co-workers, I ask then how they did it. "What work and raised a family?" they asked, "Oh not me I stayed home!" "Oh you stayed home" I repeated, "and you too?" "Yes, I couldn't work and bring up my kids" the other one agreed. In my head, I am screaming. "Then what the heck am I doing." It hit me, I get them ready at the crack of dawn to be in school all in time for me to get to work on time. Lunches are prepared, school clothes are always ready. I drag them and their gear to and fro all the while, I am always well coiffed and always on time. Hmmming I think I am doing more than I thought. So no more worrying about dishes and laundry and nails not being done; I no longer wear color on my nails as their is just not time for maintenance. With all that in mind I retain some even if it is ten minutes of time for myself. Hooray, that's when I blog.
By the way, I wish I could say it was a thankless job, just so I could have something to complain about. But my daughter and husband say thank you all the time as I am sure my son will one day; they tell me that they love me all the time too. I am truly blessed and eternally grateful.
Que sera sera,